Once again, I have received an unsolicited comment about the matter of my eggs, a reminder that I am not growing younger, and advice that I better get married soon so I can make babies. I don’t mind the assumption that one must be married before childbearing begins as I have no plans of raising a child on my own. It’s the glib with which people predict and proclaim the expiration of my eggs that gets me. Their attempt to explain to me the scientific reasoning about why they are right and how I am wasting precious time is laughable. Hello?!
Really! If we want to be most pure, the best age for fertility in women begins at age 18 or so. Studies have shown that between the age of 18 and 25, women are the most fertile, the best prepared for a good pregnancy, good labour, and good delivery experience.
I wonder then if my detractors would recommend to their own girl-child to forego college for a bit just to pop out those babies before it’s too late. After all, motherhood is the most important thing in the world and it is a waste of resources to educate women to the professional level. I know they won’t. They would probably tell me that said girl-child is too young to be in a relationship especially as the boy-child of her age is extremely immature in comparison. To that I would reply “So? Aren’t you the same person telling me an older man is the ideal mate?” One set of rules for you and another for me I see.
I’m yet to figure out what these people expect the college or graduate school experience to represent to women. I hate to think that this should be our gold-digging moment i.e. if the goal is to have a lawyer, or doctor or other esteemed professional son-in-law, then send your girl-child to law school or medical school. How sickening.
But back to a woman’s fertility.
The studies say that fertility begins to decline at around age 26 for women. At age 35 this rate of decline becomes more rapid to the point that only about 30% of women over age 40 can become pregnant with no difficulties. That’s where the magic number of THIRTY-FIVE that people like to torment childless young women with comes from. It’s not like when a woman hits 35, the ovaries immediately stop
making releasing eggs. A woman is BORN with all the eggs she will ever have. That’s right! About a million or two million eggs in baby girl. By the time baby girl is a teen she will only have about a half million eggs left to start releasing O-N-E by O-N-E with ovulation. The rest die at the rate of about a thousand per month.
That’s a good argument to have children sooner than later as those old eggs can have difficulty dividing properly leading to genetic abnormalities such as Down’s Syndrome in the baby. But that is still no reason to hop on the baby-making bandwagon just because. Common knowledge dictates that parenthood is a challenge. Therefore, I say the best time to get pregnant is when a woman and her partner feel that they are mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially ready for that responsibility. Of course no-one is actually ready but it helps to think that you are, right?
So to those who care about my life and my happiness more than I do rest assured I understand the biological limits of my fertility. God’s time is the best time, right? So chill and get off my back!