I posted this on Facebook several months ago, but I’m again thinking about the craziness of my childhood so here’s the repeat.
You know something? From the child’s standpoint, adults are some of the craziest and most confused people on earth. Yeah, childhood is bliss and all but I so enjoy my freedom, clarity, and “wisdom” of adulthood. So drum roll please, here goes – the list of things that makes childhood not so great.
“Never/Don’t do this or that” but meanwhile they are doing that same thing. How does this make any sense?
“Do as I say not as I do”. What kinda wisdom is that?
“Don’t talk to strangers.” But you talk to strangers all the time…and force me to call them Auntie or Uncle on top of it all.
“Don’t lie”. But you just asked me to tell Auntie so-so on the phone that you weren’t home when I’m here talking to you face to face.
“Are you calling me a liar?” Ah, but you are. See above. Why must adults confuse children so? Anyone know how to answer this?
“You think you are grown eh?” No I don’t.
“Stop crying before I give you something to cry about!”
“This hurts me more than it will hurt you” as they whip my backside. Umm, I’m the one with the tears in my eyes trying to get away from your switch. Wanna switch sides?
“Because I said so!” If you don’t know, say you don’t know! If you don’t have time to answer me say you don’t have time to answer me. Lol!
“You are too young to understand” see above.
“Just you wait until you have children of your own.” Hmm, now that you’ve cursed me, I’m not sure I want to have any kids of my own. Alternative thought is I didn’t ask you to give birth to me did I?
“Hmm, I hope your daughter is just like you, you’ll see!” Good, because I know I’ve been a good girl and other parents would love to have a child like me.
“If it wasn’t for you children, I would be doing x,y.z” Again, did I ask you to give birth to me?
When you get mad at child #1, then you take it out on the rest of us! That’s just madness.
When I ask for money for sweets at the store, and you tell me you have no money, but then you turn around and get coconut on the drive back home. I thought you had no money.
“You’ll change your mind when you are older”. This doesn’t work on stubborn people like myself. It only makes me more stubborn. Heck, I refuse to change my mind so as not to fulfill the prophecy.
Calling me lazy in one breath, and then in the next you call me from upstairs to come and give you the remote that is laying on the table in front of you as you lounge on the sofa. This is CLASSIC!
“Smile”, or “sit straight”, or “go hug fake auntie so&so” – If this is not the best part of being an adult — if I don’t want to smile, I’m not smiling, you can’t force me!
“Don’t talk to me like I’m one of your friends” Adult, please, you are so not one of my friends, what makes you think I consider you as such?
“When I was your age, I did x;…I didn’t do Y;…my father did z to me;…my mother didn’t do q for me”. So your childhood sucked, what does that have to do with me? Get over it!
Telling your friends about my every blunder, mishap, bodily transformation etc I am going through. Ok, it might have been cute when I was two (and unaware) and you told everybody about my green diarrhea, but why does everyone need to know that I have started to grow pubes or have had my period? Or telling everybody that I’m the laziest person on earth because I left a single dirty dish in the sink…
Asking me a question, then getting angry with me when I answer. Hello!, I’m eight years old, I don’t know what a rhetorical question is!
Asking me a question, then getting angry with me when I DON’T answer. Adult, stop confusing me!
“Who do you think you are talking to?” Obviously you but how many of us had the balls to say “you”. So instead we say “nobody” while raining insults and curses on them in our heads. And their response “Eh-heh, that’s what I thought”. Well if that’s what you thought then why did you ask?
Not listening to me when I try to tell you about my friends, and then when I want to go to their house or go somewhere with them, you tell me “no, because I don’t know them”. Well, if you would listen to me…
“I don’t care what you want to do, how you feel etc.” Really? You call yourself my parent and you don’t care about my feelings?
“Why are you trying to kill me?” I’m not trying to kill you. I’m just telling you I want to wear a mini-skirt.
Asking me what time a show comes on on TV. Hello, I’m not the TV guide and remember, you told me not to be watching TV on a weeknight so how would I know?
Angrily telling me that people in your family don’t sprout breasts at age 8. How am I supposed to take that? Are you or aren’t you my mother? Or do you think I made the breasts come on my own?
Angrily telling me that people in your family aren’t stupid. Well did people in your family take this test that I got a “bad grade” in? It’s not even like the grade was *that* bad.
Ignoring me when I call your name, but then getting angry when I ignore you calling me! Lol!
Telling me to get a cane from the headmaster’s office, or a switch from the tree while telling me to be sure to get a good one. Do you think I’m stupid?
“Look at me when I’m talking (more like yelling) to you”. Then when I look at you with the unspoken insults/curses going through my head, you say “don’t look at me like that”. Well in all sincerity, that’s why I wasn’t looking AT you in the first place!
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out” You really think so eh? It’s really rubbish for a parent to say this to a child.
“What did you say/do?” … “Say it again.” “Do it again”. I don’t remember ever falling for this line, but I’ve sure witnessed the consequences. Lol!
Before all the parents and adults who interact with children tell me that all this is necessary, my whole point is not to say that I won’t ever use any of these choice phrases with children when I’m crazy enough to have them, but that these are some of the reasons being a child stinks, and I’m happy to finally be an adult! I just can’t stand people telling me what to do and people not being consistent. Hypocrites.