The Fallacy of the Victory Narrative and Why I am a Feminist

My sister T’ni recently asked me if I were feminist and what I meant by that. I said feminism means being treated as a human being to which she responded, oh so you are not like the real real feminists. I suppose she meant those to whom society has given the moniker femi-nazi.  

I think it is sad that women refuse to be or are scared of being labelled feminists. Scared away by a perversion of the word, one that has given it negative energy. Afraid to be seen as unfeminine, as a man-hater, or as a bra-burning lesbian. Yet we have all benefited from the feminist movement and we are all at risk of suffering sexism. Today we act as if the struggles were those of the past and that those amongst us who still rail against the machine are just bitter old hags. We are complacent, shying away from demanding that we be taken seriously and treated better. We pretend that the way we are going to bring about change moving forward is by nicely, sweetly, and peacefully asking.

Hmmm! Switching gears, I am reminded that we are supposedly living in a post-racial America since the election of President Obama in 2008. We accept that the lives of black people in America are so much better than they have been historically. While this is true, clearly where we are now is nothing to brag about. Police brutality and systemic harassment. Mass incarceration. High maternal and infant mortality rates. HIV/AIDS. Complacency has gotten us here.  In history, change has rarely occurred when it is nicely asked for. Revolution has always been needed. 

Switching gears again, the LGBT community has been waiting for employment equality for many decades. They are still waiting. To date, there is no federal law that consistently protects LGBT people from employment discrimination. However, the legal recognition of same-sex marriage is picking up steam and I think much of that is because of active campaigning.  These last couple years have seem like victories won even within the transgender community, often maligned. One would think that we now live in a gay or transgender tolerant world. But I believe that’s so far from the truth. What’s different is that people now know to be less blatant with their biases but nothing has really changed with their prejudices. 

The narrative goes that the youth is more liberal than their parent’s generation. Less religious even like that’s a good thing. But the truth is the youth still vote for people who want to take away voting rights from Black Americans or people who want to limit the reproductive freedoms of women mostly because these issues are just not as important to them when it actually comes time to voting. They don’t walk the talk they talk.

Those of us in oppressed minority communities – women, Blacks, LGBT etc. – are suffering in various degrees from the victory narrative. We no longer want to be seen as angry Black militants, or as man-hating feminists, or as ultra-gay, because we have arrived, we are visible parts of society, and we are normal and happy. An injustice to one is just that — their bad luck. But think about it. How many years since voting rights given to Blacks and yet we are still fighting for this. How many years since Roe v. Wade and yet we are still policing women’s bodies. A word of caution then for the LGBT community is not to let their guard down like women have and like African-Americans have, because those who hate still hate.

Myself, I have always been a feminist. I may not have labelled myself as that all along. My earliest realization of gender inequality was quite early, possibly age 7 or 8. It’s a story I’ve recounted before. Once you’ve recognized inequality you just can’t unsee it. You just have to fight to not let the unfairness of the world fester in your heart. Labelling is a celebration that gives strength in order to face injustice. It gives those of us who proudly bear it a voice to demand what is right. That is why I agree that we all should be feminists. We all should be humanists or whatever else you want to call it.

Today, the predominant news-story is that of the 21 year old American terrorist who massacred nine people at a prayer group in a church yesterday. A group that he sat in the midst of before pulling out his gun and shooting them. A group of Black Americans killed by a 21 year old White American man. Man, because no-one is going to convince me that he’s just a boy. Terrorist because that is what he is. A racist white supremacist terrorist at age 21 in the year 2015 in a state that flies the confederate flag in these United States of America. Unbelievable is the catchphrase being thrown around. But is it really? Yes, America has a Black president, but racism runs deep and wide. Yes, women have made strides, but sexism runs deep and wide. Yes, the LGBT community is winning victories as of late, but homophobia and transphobia still run deep and wide. Let us minorities not forget who we are and why we have to demand our rights. We cannot escape our histories. We each in our own little worlds should open discussions about the real impact of racism, sexism, “homophobism”, whether we want to label ourselves or not.  Because those who hate us and resent us and blame us for their misfortune are not in any hurry to forget.