Next time it is you!

It has been strange indeed being this close to a fairy-tale wedding and all the shenanigans that go with it. I can honestly say I was not the girl who dreamt of her wedding day, especially not one that is “Lights. Camera. Action”. Then again, I’m not the most romantic one. 

I’m not going to lie though. I was dreading this week – traditional ceremony and Catholic Wedding days apart. You see, it’s the baby of the family getting married, whereas the rest of us are single and even though I had told them all back when was an intern in 2004 to go ahead, live life, and not to wait for me, the eldest child,  I was not fully prepared for family and family friends’ response to the order of things. 

“Next time it is you!”, my spinster aunt who I have not seen in 15 years accosted me in the first few seconds of us meeting in the church. I had barely gotten out an “Hi Auntie…”. “Next time it is you” she repeated, her face contorted, her skinny finger poking at my chest. “You. You should be the one getting married first. You are the eldest.” I tried to defend myself with “It’s ok”, going in for the hug greeting but she pulled away. “It’s not ok. Look at you. It is not okay! You are getting old. You want to be like me? Alone? If not get married [sic] at least have a child”. At this point I also withdrew from wanting to hug her and desired not to be in her presence at all. 

She hounded me the rest of the night, as she did my other sisters. I chalked it up to her being crazy. It was not her choice to be barren and to be a spinster. Obviously, I can see where her anger and concern comes from. But her fate is not mine. If I do end up at her age barren and a spinster, I doubt I will turn into the miserable soul that she is.

Her aside, it seemed as if in the wedding etiquette book, the proper greeting for the older yet unmarried sister of the bride is a version of “Next time it is you”. “Next time it is your turn.” “Next time I want to come to your wedding.” “Oh, but you look so beautiful, when are you getting married?” “Oh, so what happened, you mean to tell me no-one wants to marry you?”  

It was as horrible as I expected it to be. Worse, I had no comebacks except for my aunt who at the end of the night returned her attention to me. But it is now over. I just kept silent for the most part, refusing to justify my single status to these strangers with smiles on their faces. They know nothing about me. They really should come with a different conversation in mind. How about this weather we are having?